the heart may take time to heal,
what we can do is make peace with the past. Everyday is a constant struggle to move on and not let the past catch up with us. We need to look beyond our loss and tragedies. there's nothing in the past that belongs to us anymore, we had our time in the sun and now all that's left are just memories and few snippets of reminders here and there. I was browsing through my old journals and in between the pages i saw an old wedding card, and inside it were some photographs, two taxi tickets, (one was of the first time i went to visit him and the second was of the trip i took to spent our first Valentine's day) and an old parched rose which he gave me on V-day (of course, it was a fresh one back then) After looking at them, at that instant, the one thing that came to my mind was..they belong in the trash can and i was just about to, when, i guess, sanity rushed back in and i decided to let them find their way back home, inside that wedding card to be neatly tugged away for long between the pages of my old journal.
Break ups are never easy..anyone who refutes that must be shot in the head :p ....I asked one of my best friends what's the worse thing about breaking up and very rightfully she replied that its the whole moving on process that's worst. Couldn't agree more, because it ain't about the fear of being alone or trying to cope with the loneliness, that's where the friends come in to play their role. But the long tiring journey of reconciling with the past, forgiving and forgetting is the hardest. And its true, women find it harder to forget rather than forgive. The 'forgiving' part comes easy, no doubt. 'Forgetting' is what makes the moving on part the hardest. and i always thought that the worse thing about breaking up would the feeling of loneliness, not untill whatever my friend said to me started to make sense.
And so i try...u know the moving on part...i go and hang out with my best friends (who,btw, are all part of the been- there-done -that bandwagon) i party with them, get drunk with them, i gossip with them and bitch about the distasteful men that we have been with, like the recent exes... :) It makes me wonder what would life be without friends, like it or not, they are our mirrors. And i am certainly one of the luckiest to have them in my life for its because of them that my moving-on part is a little less hard to handle. And as for the rest, i believe that with just 42 dsas left for the year to end (yes, bite me, i am literally counting the days) I cant even begin to imagine what wonderful things are in store for me in the new year. :D
indeed the past is gone.the skies don't look the same.i also remember my younger days as i was hanging around with friends and now all are just docked away for eternity, i suppose. the other day i met a long lost friend too on facebook, got her number and talked and both of us were like : "you have changed!" didn't get to see each other but the voice seemed so homecoming. and my mind could go to the moments of the days gone by..so true, so true.we talked and talked and talked and talked. i didn't know that the heart always reacts to what it had felt in the past. suddenly, she told me she was going for a dance practice and so we said good night to each other and life came back again. there is something about the past that nudges the tender side of everyone - the longing to be loved and cared for.
ReplyDeletewe become who we are today because of our pasts but one thing i learnt is that we shouldn't let it dictate where we go from here..let it be just those reminders every now and then for us not go off-track..
ReplyDelete'Forgetting' is what makes the moving on part the hardest - i agree with that... forgetting's a bitch :P
ReplyDeletecouldn't agree more..its been months n still counting..
ReplyDelete